I will be adding a new focus to this blog! I am going to start making detailed recipes and shopping lists with pricing breakdowns for everyone to look at. I know most people say that eating healthy is just TOO expensive but I will be creating recipes that can be made very affordable and making sure they taste GOOD! I will be working on this for the next week or so and will be able to put some recipes up here soon after!
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? – Satchel Paige
I just went through this entire blog and deleted many entries. Perhaps because I wanted to start fresh or maybe it is because looking back on those entries I really had no idea what was to come. Either way, here I am starting over with what I want to tell everyone and how I want to get my message across. I have come to believe that being healthy isn’t just about having strong muscles and a spectacular diet. It is about inner peace and happiness too. If you struggle internally no amount of cardio, weight lifting and calorie counting can keep you on track for the rest of your life.
I struggled..I still struggle. In future blog posts I will go deeper into my struggles and how I work through them, but for now just know that….I struggle.
What can you expect from this blog.
Well for starters I am going to be real with you. If you don’t like that then you probably should stop reading right now. This journey is for me and ultimately my family, but if you want to come along with me then you are more than welcome too. I would love to hear about your journey as well. I will be talking about some basic things like how to cook some basic healthy meals. Healthy food you should always have on hand to make eating health easier. I will teach you about reading nutrition labels, I will talk to you about getting in some good workouts. I will have guest bloggers. I will talk about my struggles and I will talk about my successes. So if you would like to find The Beauty Within yourself, please join me.
“The Paradoxical Commandments
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
I stopped writing for a while. I let someone’s thoughts and opinions get in my head. I have always been a very compassionate, loving, real person. I don’t pretend to be nice to people, I just am. This isn’t a flaw as some people might like me to believe. I was told that I shouldn’t be so raw and my blogs should always end on a positive note. The more I thought about it the more I decided, screw that! Life isn’t happy all the time, life is down right shitty sometimes. I am not going to be fake and pretend that if something is really shitty it isn’t. I will write how I want and if people don’t like that they can not read what I write.
There have been a lot of changes going on around me lately. I have disassociated myself with an organization that I helped to build. It hasn’t been the same for a long time and my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. It was time to walk away. I am so happy and feeling really good about my decision. At first I was sad and having a hard time walking away completely but finally I was able to make that decision, I am surprised at how happy I am about it. I guess it is a less to not hang on to things that don’t bring you joy longer then you need to. I have a few others things that I want to invest my time and energy in. I am grateful for the time I spent and the people I helped and met, but it is on to new things.
It is an interesting thing that happens when you close one door. I have started doing more arts & crafts which I haven’t done in a while and it feels awesome! I have been really thinking about what I want to do in my life. I have a few ideas and just need to do some research to get them going. It is all so exciting.
“Our children are watching us live, and what we ARE shouts louder than anything we can say.” – Wilferd A. Peterson
Being a parent is amazing. To have such a strong impact on someones life is really quite amazing and scary all in one thought. I remember that I idolized my parents and wanted to be like them, I remember watching my dad work on cars so I would mimic him working on my little red wagon. I remember watching my mom cook and I would copy her on my little kitchen set. I am not surprised that children copy their parents, obviously I mean I was a child at one point. But seeing it through the eyes of a parent is such a neat experience.
My son has just barely turned 2. He knows his alphabet and can count to 5 and knows all the number to 10, these things alone make me very proud to be his mom. But that isn’t what I am here to write about today. Today I am going to write about something else he does that makes me so proud.
I use to do my workouts when my son was sleeping. I was worried he would be in the way or would be a distraction. Recently, as he is able to play independently I have started working out while he is awake.
It started simple enough, I would be doing some workout video and he would run up and watch the TV and run off. I didn’t really think he was understanding what was going on. Then when I was lifting weights he kept trying to pretend he was lifting too. I had some 2lb weights I dug out for him to use when/if he felt like it when I was working out. He loved it!
Lately when I put on workout video he runs over and says “eggersize?” I of course say yes lets workout. So he runs and grabs his weights and workouts for a bit, since he is 2 his attention span isn’t very wide so he runs off and does something else and comes back. Last night I was doing some push-ups and he got down on the groups and did his toddler version which was stinkin’ adorable!
I don’t force him to do anything and let him join me as he pleases, but it makes me really proud to look over and see my son trying to workout with me.
My son loaded my weights for me one night!
One of the things I believe that we must do for our children is teach them healthy habits. If we encourage exercise and eating healthy foods we can help them grow into adults that understand the importance of having these things in their life. The things we teach them good or bad will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Always set good examples.
“Never believe for a second that your weak, within all of us we have a reserve of inner hidden strength,”
― Victoria Addino
For years I have thought of myself as a shy, private person. Sure I am fun and outgoing once you know me, but I am not a person who is going to stand on the street corner shouting and drawing attention to myself. I lately have found myself in a position where I need to be more out going and I need to put myself out there. For years my dream has been to in some way help the public and educate them on being healthy and guide people down that path. But how could I do this when I couldn’t find that path myself. Numerous times I would find myself sitting in the admissions counselors office talking to them about enrolling to get my degree in Public Health. Each time I would talk myself out of it. What did I have to offer? I was lost too. I knew what I needed to be doing, I knew ALL of it but I couldn’t seem to connect the pieces enough to complete the puzzle.
Finally after struggling with many different issues; food, weight, emotions, I found the answer. I don’t need to be perfect to lead, I don’t need to have a simple story and have been a certain weight for a long period of time before I can help. I can lead by example.
I am still not very comfortable broadcasting my struggles, but what I am learning and seeing is that it helps not only myself to step out of my comfort zone, it helps other people who are also struggling. All those nights I sat alone in the kitchen with nothing but the refrigerator light to see by, all those nights I would eat and eat and eat and then cry and cry and cry. For all those times I would have to lie about a missing bag of chips or have to explain to my husband why the food that was saved for later was gone. If me putting myself out there even a little bit can help someone else realize they are not alone. They don’t have to hate themselves for their actions, they can break free of this prison. I am willing to share and put myself out there, if it helps someone right now going through the same thing find a little bit of comfort.
When I was struggling I did it in secret. I would confess to my husband, but at the time he had no idea why I was doing this. Heck, I had no idea why I was doing this. I just knew that I was so completely out of control I actually thought I was crazy because I couldn’t control myself. It wasn’t until many years and a lot of damage to my body later that I realized I wasn’t crazy. What I was going through was an actual problem. Some people can’t stay away from alcohol, some people are hooked on drugs, for me it was food. Food was my safe place, my comfort zone, my friend. Yet at the same time it was my enemy, my opponent, my prison.
Even after I started to understand my issues with food, I still wasn’t equipped to deal with the whole situation. I would say okay, I don’t want to do this anymore. So I would throw away all the bad food. I tried all the things people who don’t understand recommend. Chew gum, drink water, distract yourself, don’t allow yourself to have ANY bad food. If it was as simple as all that I would be a gum chewing, water guzzling, knitting person with no food issues. It isn’t that simple at least not for me. If it is that simple for you, then GOOD for you! Seriously, good for you.
When I became pregnant in 2011 I was relieved. Finally, there was going to be a 9 month period when I wouldn’t be focusing on food. While I was pregnant I told myself a two things.
- I was NOT eating for two. To me this meant that I wasn’t going to have a free-for all and eat 2 times the food no matter what it was. To me that meant I was going to make healthy choices but not worry about calories as long as the food was nutritious.
- I wasn’t going to fixate on my weight. Most of my adult life I have been very attached to the number on the scale. I would weigh myself daily. Even though I knew all about weight fluctuations.
I wouldn’t know until a few months after the birth of my son that some of these things I started during my pregnancy would be key thought processes in me recovering from my eating issues.
In the next few blogs I am going to talk about how I handled my emotions and how it helped me with eating, how I made peace with my past, how I look at food now and other things that might be helpful if you are in this situation.
Find the Beauty Within
Don’t wait to make your son a great man – make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
There are times in our lives when we struggle. Either financially, spiritually or physically. For me that time is now. I am really having issues with seeing where my life is going. I am struggling with burdens from my past and burdens that haven’t even happened yet. I have been feeling very lost spiritually.
Today I felt very depressed but I slapped on my happy face and took my son (just turned 2) to the park. We played on the slide and ran around. We had a good time. Playing with my son had changed my mood a little and I decided to do a Mommy and Son night out. We loaded up in the car to drive to a restaurant for dinner. We talked back and forth as much as you can talk with a 2 year old. When we got to the restaurant he was so excited to get out and go eat. We ordered and sat down to eat our food. Watching my son try to eat his noodles and making a terrible mess just filled my heart with joy. He was trying very hard to be a big boy and sit at the table but he couldn’t reach finally he sat on my lap and we ate our dinner. Nothing really can turn your day around like taking selfies with a 2 year old at dinner and talking about stuff. I really don’t know what we talked about but it was an interesting conversation. Once we were done eating we were headed out the door and we passed the toy area. He stopped and wanted to play Rock’em, Sock’em Robots. Normally I would have said no and rushed out. But I wasn’t in a rush today we had no where to go so I said “Okay let’s play.” The joy and excitement on his face just melted my heart. We sat down and played for maybe 5 minutes and he was ready to go. All he wanted was 5 minutes. That is it. On a normal day I wouldn’t have been able to give him those 5 minutes..but why? Nothing is more important then letting my child have joy and be a child for 5 minutes. I was really starting to realize that in the rush of my day to day life, I was rushing something else. My time with my son. We only have them for a short while.
After dinner we went to the grocery store. Normally this is something I dread because though he isn’t a bad boy in the store it gets stressful with him wanting to eat everything in the cart and not understanding he can’t. Tonight was WONDERFUL. We went through the produce section and I asked him what he wanted and he TOLD me. We got the things that he wanted (they were on my list anyway) but I included him in my shopping instead of just dragging him along. While I had my back turned he grabbed a tomato out of our bag and started eating it. Normally this would have caused me major stress, but tonight I said what the heck. I grabbed an extra tomato to make sure we paid for what he ate. He was the HAPPIEST little boy in the store. People were shocked he was eating a tomato, like an apple and thought it was just great he loved them. He helped me put all the groceries in the cart and then when we were done. He put all the groceries up on the checkout. He even put them in the car when we got to the car. He was such a great helper.
Why am I talking about all of this. Well it brought me great peace and joy. It helped me to realize that my little boy won’t be little forever and that he is growing up. I am so proud of the little boy he is turning into. We still have some terrible 2 issues but he is getting to be a great little boy. So kind and helpful and smart.
I will remember to slow down my day to day life and enjoy my son because before I know it he will be off on his own.
I love you son!
If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.
There are times in your life when people won’t believe in you. They will tell you that you are crazy, that you can’t do it or that you won’t. Don’t listen to those people.
You are the only person who needs to believe.
Lately, I have been feeling a little like some people don’t believe in me. It isn’t easy doing things when you don’t think you have support. What is really funny is the fact that it usually is the people who are not supporting you who you want to support you. I am slowly learning though that as much as it would be nice to have those people notice what you are doing or maybe say “hey good job”. It doesn’t really matter. I have become a strong enough person now to just let those things go.
I use to hold on to everything, anything that bothered me I just bottled it up and kept it inside of me. That is so unhealthy and counterproductive for what I want to do. So I have started learning how to find peace with these situations. It isn’t easy but it is healthy. I will no longer look to other people for approval in what I am doing. Someday they might notice and if they don’t that is okay.
For the people who do support me and encourage me. I am eternally grateful, it means the world to me that you believe in me.
What’s worked for me is not quitting, and being passionate about what I do and not giving up – and when I don’t believe in myself, turning to others who believe in me. Marc Jacobs
Well it is mid-February, have you given up yet? Are you going as intensely as you did on January 1? I know how this all works. Everyone sets all these exciting goals for the New Year. This will be their year, this year they will hit all their goals, there will be no resolutions next year because there will be no need for it. You bought all the fancy gear, you got all the supplements but now you are over it. You are bored, you are tired, you have lost motivation, and you didn’t lose the weight you planned to lose by now. Time to give up; Time to throw in the towel, Time to wait until next year!
NOT THIS TIME! This year you keep going. This year you do it for you, you do it for health, and you do it because you want to live a long healthy life. You are going to do it because darn it you are WORTH it. I know who you are. You are busy; you have a million reasons not to. You always put everyone else before yourself. This time I want you to take some time for yourself. You won’t be any good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself.
Here is what I want you to do. Throw out the “I must lose weight by…” phrase. We aren’t going to do that anymore. We aren’t putting an expiration date on getting healthy. Here is what we will do. I want you to give yourself everyday 30-60 minutes to get moving, I don’t care what it is..jump rope for 30 minutes, just do it. Be active everyday and if for some reason you absolutely can’t because this is all about balance, I want you to never go more than 2 days without being active.
Next, stop saying “I want to lose..x amount”. Yes we all know we would like to lose a certain amount or see a certain number on the scale. But being stuck on that number really can mess with your head. Learn about weight. Learn why weight goes up learn why it goes down. What causes you to gain 3 lbs in one day and then be 3 lbs lighter the next? Find out why, research it. Knowledge is power. The reason I want you to stop saying that phrase is because you shouldn’t determine your worth based on a number. I have seen it over and over again. Someone will say to me. I will be so happy when I lose 40lbs because I will be more fun, more active people will like me. If you have people in your life right now, they like you! They will like you when you reach your goal, they will like you if you don’t. If you eat right and exercise you can reach your goals.
Don’t Quit! Seriously, keep moving forward. I am reminded of a story from when I was little. I think most people are familiar with The Little Engine that Could. Imagine yourself saying that every day, every hour, every minute if you have to…”I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” because if you think you can then you can. The important thing to know about this journey is that it is not a race. This is a journey, something you need and want to be able to maintain for a very long time.
The key to not quitting is make lasting changes, changes that are something that will become second nature to you. If it is hard, boring, and flavorless or annoying you won’t do it and you won’t stick to it.
Life isn’t easy, it never will be. You will always have a reason to do something else. There will always be dishes that need to be done, a house that needs clean. But I am reminded of some song lyric, “time doesn’t wait for no one.” Remember that right now you could build a healthy body that can carry you through a long and healthy life. If you don’t work on it and give up someday you might not be able to start.
With that I want to leave you with one of my favorite poems –
What is the beauty within you?
Most of us spend so much time focusing on our outer appearance we forget about the person on the inside. It is easy in the rush of our day to day lives to just focus on what we see. My hair is too brown, my eyes are so small, I am too fat, too thin, too short, too tall.
We spend a lot of time and money on fad diets, and crazy workout regimes, yet we don’t give a second though to the person inside. You can have a wonderfully fit body but if you are a horrible person it doesn’t count for much.
While we are all making these transformations to become healthy, beautiful, fit ( what ever the reason you are on this journey) take a little time and work on what kind of a person you will be when you reach your goals.
My goal in life other then being healthy and helping others be healthy is to be a good person. I want to be the type of person that when it is my time to leave this earth all the people that knew me will sit and reminisce about how kind, generous, understanding and thoughtful I was. Be a good partner, friend, child, sibling, parent. Put good into the world.
A lot of the time people are watching and we don’t even realize it. I know it took me a while to figure out that there are in fact people watching me. I am an example for people. There is one person who I am a big example for and to me it is so important that he learn to be a good person from me.
Everyone gets into the giving and spreading Christmas cheer during the holidays. Perhaps this year we should work on being kind and giving all year long.
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.Robert Louis Stevenson